It started with the usual suspects: a few glances at the time only to roll back over for a few more minutes of sleep, the joy of knowing I did not have to work, and the inevitable surge of shame as I realized it was almost ten and I was still in bed.
Until today this has been my typical Tuesday morning routine, except usually I can be found sleeping in long past ten. I’m the type of person who likes to think they can do everything until eventually the exhaustion catches up to me and I just want to go into hibernation for the next few months. After taking on two jobs, school, and various Bible study group it became clear to me that I needed more free time. This realization resulted in me deciding to take Tuesday’s off (unless I get called in to one of my jobs) and spending those Tuesday’s sleeping well into the afternoon and then loafing around the apartment not doing much of anything.
This brings us to this morning, which started off the same was as the past weeks have. Yet, as I prepared to snooze a little longer I couldn’t help but think that this was not what I should be doing. Somewhere between my hectic schedule and weekly snoozefests I lost myself. I was going through the motions of life without really doing anything unique. In taking on everything I should be doing, I gave up ever doing any of the things I wanted to be doing. Tuesdays are the one day out of the entire week that I have to myself to do whatever I desire, and here I’ve been letting them slip by. This morning as I lied among some dangerously comfortable pillows with the promise of a new, beautiful day hiding behind my curtains I knew that it was time for a change. I lost myself somewhere between the craziness of everyday life, and I was determined to find myself again.
I decided that I wanted to spend today doing all of the things I always tell myself I don’t have time to do. I put on an extremely cute outfit for no particular reason. I gathered my belongings and headed to my local Barnes & Noble for a change of weekday scenery. It was there with the help of Taylor Swift and a delicious, free nonfat pumpkin spice latte (thanks Brittany!) that I was able to finish a lot of homework that would have otherwise ended up getting done at the last possible minute. I could have done more, but I was determined to make today about doing what I wanted to, not what I needed to.
I went to Target and bought new leggings, for no occasion or reason other than the fact that I wanted leggings. Well, that and they were only eight dollars. I came home, changed, put on more Taylor Swift, and decided to bake pumpkin chocolate-chip cookies for no particular reason (they taste better than they look, I promise).
You better believe that I was singing and dancing around my kitchen in the process.
I repainted my nails. I did the dishes. I did all of the things I wanted to do but often found myself convinced that it just wasn’t a good use of my time. Somewhere in all of this I found myself. I found the joy in simplicity that I used to pride myself on. Needless to say, I’m going to make an effort to make sure this is not a one time thing.
I think that it is so easy for us to get caught up in routine. Don’t get me wrong, I love working and value my education, but I feel like when we let our schedules dictate our happiness we have forgotten what joy really is. Especially for us ladies, there is so much preasure on us to be perfect. Whether we strive to be the perfect wife, the perfect mom, or maybe just the perfect person, we are all facing expectations placed on us by the world and even by ourselves. It’s imporatnt that we allow ourselves time to simply do the things we want to do. Because of today, I do believe that I am starting fall for a new favorite day of the week.
I realize that not everyone can take a day out of their work week to dedicate to themselves, but that’s okay. Maybe it could be during the weekend. Perhaps it could even be half of a day per week, or a few days a month.
Regardless, I challenge you to do something this week that you have been wanting to do but have been telling yourself you are too busy to do. It doesn’t have to be something big. It can be something as simple as sipping a latte with your favorite music playing in the background. Whatever it is though, I hope you are able to do it with happiness and contentment, knowing there is nothing else you want to do.
I hope that in this crazy journey called life, you are able to find your Tuesday.